a form of spiritual gluttony

Hello, Lord.

I was struck with something recently; a truth about spiritual gluttony.

I have read about spiritual gluttony before, mostly from John of the Cross.  And while it made sense, I felt it's presence in a conversation I had with someone about a week ago.

It was a Sunday morning; I had just attending a liturgy with my sister.  After the liturgy, some friends of my sister approached us to say hello.  I did not know them; I met them at that time.  We engaged in usual small talk, and we began to talk about churches, other parishes, etc.

One of my sister's friends made a comment: "I've heard this church is good; I've heard it has better homilies; I like it better than this other church".  His statement struck me, and didn't sit well with me.  My immediate reaction came forth, and I responded to his comment: "But Jesus is still there."

Then I realized why I was struck by his comment.  It reminded me of a weakness we can often have, what John of the Cross called spiritual gluttony.  Spiritual gluttony refers to a tendency to love God not so much for who he us - rather, it is loving God for what he can do for us, for how he can make us feel.  It is more accurately not loving God at all, but only a love for how we feel towards what he gives us.

Did not Jesus tell us, that when two or more are gathered in his name, he is present?  In any church, and in any gathering - which is more often wrought with individuals with sins, with weaknesses, with imperfections - Jesus is still there.

We shouldn't so much seek for what we can feel, for what we can get out of a particular church, a particular community, etc.  For all-in-all, Jesus is still present; Jesus is still very much alive and present.  "Jesus is there".

our senses...

Tonight I went to the Arizona State Fair with my Mother.  We had a good time.

As we walked through the Fair, I realized somethig:

All of our senses were engaged.  There were many bright, flashing and gaudy lights; there were many sounds, many types of music, many performers speaking to the crowds using microphones; there were many different smells, coming from the rows of food concession stands; there were a variety of foods that appealed to our taste.

I realized, too, that this is quite normal for us.  As human persons, God created us this way.  We are sensual persons "to our depths".  An early Christian writer named Turtellian - who lived during the first century - wrote somewhat extensively on the nature of Christ, the nature of the Church, and other supernatural developments within Christian theology.  He is known for noting how Satan "is the great plagiarizer".  Satan is good - very good - as twisting and distorting God's good creation, forcing it to communicate something other than what God originally intended for things to communicate.

According to Turtellian, it is also characteristic of satan to plagiarize the Sacraments; he distorts and twists them, so that they no longer communicate God's life, but rather communicate a sort of "road to perdition" for a soul.  Satan does this, because it is all he can do.  He does not have any ability to create anything - he himself being a creature created by God (he is a created spirit).  All he can do is twist and distort what God has already created.

God wishes for our senses to be "filled with him", for us to engage all our senses in worship.  This is how we were created; this is part of God's design.  It seems to me, however, that satan would rather "fill our senses" with things that can become distractions for us - distractions and blocks that keep us from coming into contact with God.  He will distort the Sacrament of marriage, the participation and the sign of God's love exchange with his Bride, his Church, with all humanity.  How often do we see our sexuality trivialized in society?  Satan may also distort the Sacrament of the Eucharist, our Communion with the Lord.  The Scriptures tell us that we are called to be inebriated with the New Wine of the New Covenant, the Holy Spirit; but how often do we see people abusing alcohol in our society?  If we wish to know what is most sacred in all of God's creation, we should probably look to those things that are most degraded, most cheapened, most distorted - thanks to satan.

I would say that if we wish to engage our senses in worship of God, they need to be filled with God's Truth.  How else are we to ever taste and see the Lord, as the Psalmist proclaims (see Psalm 34:8)?  If our senses do not become filled with God, we can guarantee they will become filled with other things.  We can also guarantee that if God does not have his place in our life, someone else will seek to take his place.

Christian (Catholic roots)

For my second entry, I merely wanted to link to my other blog.  It is a blog that less of a journal, and more of a commentary of various things I believe.  I titled the blog 'Christian (Catholic roots)'; I hope it speaks for itself.

http://www.christiancatholicroots.blogspot.com

how do i know?

Hello, Lord.

Here I am.

I can't sleep.  My heart is restless, Lord.  Filled with many emotions; stirring.

I know you are here, Lord; but how do I know?  Is it because I read many books about you?  Is it because I read your words, in your Scriptures?  No - I just know, Lord.

I hear you; I feel you inwardly, in my soul.  It isn't always pleasant.  Sometimes it is painful.  I know you are asking me to change things in my life, and to give up things.  And I often tel you: "I'm not ready, Lord.  I don't want to listen to you right now.  I'm not ready to change things, or to give things up.  Not right now, Lord."

Still, I know you are there.  Still: I hear you.